Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
