I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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