Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
