i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
