I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
