i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
