You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
