There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
did you just send me my own nude
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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