There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
