Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
