New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
