She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
