I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
