Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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