he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
