he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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