I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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