Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
