We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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