a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
