At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's blow job season.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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