Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
