i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
