i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
