She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
