we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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