Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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