Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
