2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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