i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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