Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
