I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
50% drunk capacity currently
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
