I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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