He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize