my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
50% drunk capacity currently
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
