my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
