My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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