Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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