He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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