We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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