There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
