Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
