shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize