Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
