doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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