Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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