it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
