Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Apparently you make a good broom.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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