My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How external is "for external use only"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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