Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
