What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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