she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
