If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
