At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
