btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
