Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
