I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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