5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
