We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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