I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My bed smells like the plague
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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