Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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