yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
