if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
