Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
